please see Lauren Lantz's latest post regarding Mercer and the diploma that comes with it. SO brilliant and SO true.
http://thelifeplancrisis.blogspot.com/
and to give credit where credit is due, I'm sure Princess Oreo helped proof-read/ edit it.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed...
after spending the past week in warm, tropical, and exotic places, many mercerians are confused upon returning back to the macongo. in an attempt to salvage what little bit is left of my own sanity, while also maybe helping some clueless individuals around me, I have decided to help with a short little list of what not to wear. I know, I'm no Stacey London (I refuse to have that "dignified" steak of grey in my hair), but I have been told before that my fashion sense isn't completely horrid.
1. while it may be getting warmer, Easter has still not occurred. that means NO white shoes, shorts, or anything else. until we celebrate christ emerging from the tomb and seeing the light, you better emerge from your dorm and make others see the white. also, why it shouldn't even have to be said, plastic white jewelry/ accessories are disgusting. NO NO NO.
2. sundresses are deemed so because you're supposed to wear them in the sun, aka: during the day. I know when you're at the beach, and daytime drinking turns into midnight, sometimes a costume change is forgotten. if this is the case post spring break, then so be it; however, if you are getting dressed for the night and you knowingly put on a sundress after dusk, you're wrong. brace yourself for judgmental stares and snide comments for the rest of the evening.
3. if you like to wear sandals on the beach please first see the "head and shoulders..." post for pedicure requirements. on a side note, anything printed with pictures of flip flops are vom worthy. even in Lilly form, I believe the image is something pageant queens see as the bees' knees. gross. also, kitten heels should be left to the feline family. they're weird, ugly, and a poor excuse for women to pretend that they're actually wearing high heels. they were invented as "trainer heels" in the 50's and they do weird things to your calves.
4. you're tan, it's warm, and you think your body is bangin'? that's fine, but DO NOT wear skin tight-spandex-esque shizz. ESPECIALLY shorts that are so tight that they squeeze your thighs into sausage links or shirts that do the same thing with your arms. you're not doing yourself, or anybody else, any favors. if you can slide your AmEx into your respective article of clothing and it doesn't fall to the ground, its too tight.
5. it's sunny. squinting can lead to premature wrinkles. sunglasses are a must (see above for classification of white plastic sunglasses though). it's ok to slide them on top of your head out of convenience when you're running errands. on that note, if you wear them on your head with the sole intention of holding back your hair, please invest in a headband. that includes wearing them at night, in the rain, or throughout the duration of a class. basically, if you have hairspray your glasses into place, its not really ok.
I know there are many other fashion faux pa's that blemish Mercer's fabulous image, but these are my top 5 most important. please feel free to leave your suggestions, thus helping those who cannot help themselves.
1. while it may be getting warmer, Easter has still not occurred. that means NO white shoes, shorts, or anything else. until we celebrate christ emerging from the tomb and seeing the light, you better emerge from your dorm and make others see the white. also, why it shouldn't even have to be said, plastic white jewelry/ accessories are disgusting. NO NO NO.
2. sundresses are deemed so because you're supposed to wear them in the sun, aka: during the day. I know when you're at the beach, and daytime drinking turns into midnight, sometimes a costume change is forgotten. if this is the case post spring break, then so be it; however, if you are getting dressed for the night and you knowingly put on a sundress after dusk, you're wrong. brace yourself for judgmental stares and snide comments for the rest of the evening.
3. if you like to wear sandals on the beach please first see the "head and shoulders..." post for pedicure requirements. on a side note, anything printed with pictures of flip flops are vom worthy. even in Lilly form, I believe the image is something pageant queens see as the bees' knees. gross. also, kitten heels should be left to the feline family. they're weird, ugly, and a poor excuse for women to pretend that they're actually wearing high heels. they were invented as "trainer heels" in the 50's and they do weird things to your calves.
4. you're tan, it's warm, and you think your body is bangin'? that's fine, but DO NOT wear skin tight-spandex-esque shizz. ESPECIALLY shorts that are so tight that they squeeze your thighs into sausage links or shirts that do the same thing with your arms. you're not doing yourself, or anybody else, any favors. if you can slide your AmEx into your respective article of clothing and it doesn't fall to the ground, its too tight.
5. it's sunny. squinting can lead to premature wrinkles. sunglasses are a must (see above for classification of white plastic sunglasses though). it's ok to slide them on top of your head out of convenience when you're running errands. on that note, if you wear them on your head with the sole intention of holding back your hair, please invest in a headband. that includes wearing them at night, in the rain, or throughout the duration of a class. basically, if you have hairspray your glasses into place, its not really ok.
I know there are many other fashion faux pa's that blemish Mercer's fabulous image, but these are my top 5 most important. please feel free to leave your suggestions, thus helping those who cannot help themselves.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
you want a dime that's top of the line?
a new month, a new post.
with spring break just a few days away, the concern with "beach ready bodies" seems to be at an all time high. I don't believe in the gym, but from what I hear, it has been packed with girls ellipticizing at a rather alarming rate. I have also heard horror stories regarding dieting plans that are only a few calories away from starvation. scary!
ps. if you really feel the need to work out, the only approved form on the CoinStar Method is through drinking. see video below for more information:
warning: the coinstar method is in no way associated with Coinstar Center® machines. side effects may include, but are not limited to: weight loss, wider range of vitamins ingested, increased energy levels, and diminishing beer belly/gut.
with spring break just a few days away, the concern with "beach ready bodies" seems to be at an all time high. I don't believe in the gym, but from what I hear, it has been packed with girls ellipticizing at a rather alarming rate. I have also heard horror stories regarding dieting plans that are only a few calories away from starvation. scary!
I am not going to claim to be a health expert, but I wholeheartedly believe there is an alternative to these horrendous crash diet methods. Ingesting a daily caloric value of about 3,000, I have been asked before what I do to keep from ballooning up to the size of a house/ fat professor. perhaps inspired by the Mary Katkins diet, or my ongoing beguilement with fad diets, I have created a health plan of my own: the coinstar method.
yes, I am referring to that big green machine in the kroger that takes all of your change, and then magically converts it into real money (real money meaning dolla dolla bills and gift cards, of course). the coinstar method is simple and is done sans exercising. all you have to do is give your body theoretical pennies, nickels, quarters and dimes all day long. if you try to put too many coins in the machine, it will get full and cut you[r metabolism] off. on the contrary, if you only give your body a handful of coins all day long, it gets confused, angry, and it stops.
interested? just think about what you eat, and roughly convert that into a handful of change: eat a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast? 50¢.
drink a 6 pack of beer? 60¢.
eat an entire package of rice cakes? 0¢ (think of these as Canadaian pennies or leftover euros- they're useless and don't count for anything).
sacful of krystals after the bar? $3.50 (really, you'd be better off just using it to pay ransom at MercerJail).
any food you decide to give your body makes in impact in some way. as long as those impacts are spaced out throughout the day, your body will just be happy and keep going. I'm under the impression that if you are kind to your body, it will be kind back to you in gratitude. maybe this method is a little hippie in theory, but it seems to be working for me and my hips in real life.
drink a 6 pack of beer? 60¢.
eat an entire package of rice cakes? 0¢ (think of these as Canadaian pennies or leftover euros- they're useless and don't count for anything).
sacful of krystals after the bar? $3.50 (really, you'd be better off just using it to pay ransom at MercerJail).
any food you decide to give your body makes in impact in some way. as long as those impacts are spaced out throughout the day, your body will just be happy and keep going. I'm under the impression that if you are kind to your body, it will be kind back to you in gratitude. maybe this method is a little hippie in theory, but it seems to be working for me and my hips in real life.
ps. if you really feel the need to work out, the only approved form on the CoinStar Method is through drinking. see video below for more information:
warning: the coinstar method is in no way associated with Coinstar Center® machines. side effects may include, but are not limited to: weight loss, wider range of vitamins ingested, increased energy levels, and diminishing beer belly/gut.
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