Whenever I complain about the parking availability on campus (or lack thereof), I am often informed that there is a brand new parking lot with plenty of empty spots behind the baseball field. While this is not only what I can only assume to be the equivocal distance of a half marathon (you know I don't believe in exercise, and that trek would surely result in the asthma attacking), it is also the spot where a mystery man robbed a student at gunpoint last week.
Just days later, an unidentified man wandered into the Pan house on Greek Row around 4am, and then proceeded to try and force his way into a sleeping sorostitute's room (think less successful, yet more rambunctious and persistent version of the Amy Abel bed intruder incident of 2010).
Unfortunately, not every Mercer student can get very Mary Kate and simply hire a bodyguard to ensure their safety (or to make them smoothies for when they're woozies). The Merpo cannot be expected to singlehandedly make the encroaching surrounding ghetto disappear or to magically create easily accessible parking spots (unless they decide to double as valet parkers). But, like most students, I can easily rattle off a multitude of incidents that have occurred on campus and that have made me legitimately fearful at times- incidents that could have been prevented.
Obviously, I haven't been frightened enough, as I still reside in an on-campus ticky-tacky, but the only time I prefer to be lily-livered is when I make myself a drink in my Lilly martini shaker. So, here are my suggestions that are sure to lead students to an increased feeling of safety while on campus...
Obviously, I haven't been frightened enough, as I still reside in an on-campus ticky-tacky, but the only time I prefer to be lily-livered is when I make myself a drink in my Lilly martini shaker. So, here are my suggestions that are sure to lead students to an increased feeling of safety while on campus...
1. Figure out the trolley stop BEARings (see, I'm still being Mercer-tastic).
The trolley stop has been moved to the dark and remote parking lot next to the Merpo station- you know, the one that shares a fence with the former stomping grounds of Young Jeezy and where cars get broken into on the regular. Between the trolley's temperamental timing and the decommissioned trolley tracker, waiting for Miss Molly can turn into a sobering endeavor that feels like an eternity. That experience could be improved if waiting occurred under a covered, well-lit, inhabited spot on campus (think three stops ago next to the fratcastles).
2. Smile for the camera!
There are a multitude of cameras affixed to buildings all over campus, and while the Orwell tactic may deter some hooligans from engaging in their delinquent ways, the videos still need to be watched and monitored. Recently, I heard a man knocking on my window and called Merpo. When they arrived at my house (about 15 minutes later), the man was gone. I never heard anything else from them, but had they watched the video, they would have seen a male student standing and knocking on the window ledge of my room. There was also a break in last year in some apartments on campus where the cameras had recorded a man trying all of the door handles, entering a room, leaving, coming back, and leaving again when he was startled by the girl who woke up and found him standing over her bed.
3. Priortize the "danger zones."
Running a stop sign in a parking lot could potentially harm a birdbrained pedestrian. A man holding a gun to my head, stealing my purse and my phone, and making me ruin my Alaia dress will definitely scar me for life (Yes, that was a Clueless reference). Please patrol areas where danger is more of a threat.
4. Check ID's.
No, that man dressed head to toe in a solid color, throwing gang symbols with his hands while simutaneously rolling a child's bike down the sidewalk is NOT an undergraduate student. Please remove him from campus, and then return the indubitably stolen bike back to whatever child it came from.
5. Parking tickets
It has been said before that the Merpo give out parking tickets like candy. My proposal is that they actually give out candy. Little Toby shaped gummy bears or snack packs of Skittles would make my day far more enjoyable. Plus, sometimes I get famished when walking across campus given the contengency I actually find a parking spot, and those could help restore my energy. Or, they could just be given out as rewards for people who follow the rules?
In conclusion, I'm not asking that the Merpo get Rambo style with AK47's and army tanks, nor am I criticizing what they are doing now. I am just vocalizing things that would make me feel safer, and I can only assume they would put other students at ease as well.
